What is there to do when you're dying?
by Kittiecat248
Summary: Jace reflects on his feelings for his friends and family and most of all, Clary, as he lies in the sand after a reckless action. *Oneshot*


**This is my first fanfiction for TMI, and third fanfiction overall, so I'm still rather inexperienced. Reviews of any kind are appreciated, whether they may be flames or criticism. Jace is slightly OOC…strike that, he's majorly OOC in my opinion, but that's just me. This is completely from Jace's POV.**

He was dying, and he knew it. The Ravener had gotten him, and it had been an easy job for the demon too. Take on the appearance of Clary, talk like Clary, damn it, it even moved like Clary. He was lost after the first second. There was no way he could hurt something that looked like her, no matter if he knew that it was not her. For all he knew, as long as there was someone else with him, he managed just fine. He had just lost his cool with Tyler, a bastard who had made fun of Clary and who turned out to be a demon. Jace had went by himself to take care of him. It was just a little mistake.

A mistake that would cost him his life.

_Clary, Clary, Clary…_

A pain shot through his stomach and he gasped, squeezing his eyes shut. _Is it fate_, he mused, trying his best to ignore his stomach, his arms and legs too weak to do anything as he laid there. _That Clary's first demon is a Ravener, and my last demon is also a Ravener? _ He tried to smile at that thought. He failed; his jaw muscles hurting too much as blood dried on his cheeks.

_Clary, Clary, Clary…_

A sharp needle like pain shot through his head, causing him to almost black out. He could see the Institute from where he lay, and he imagined Isabelle cooking her terrible dinner, the smell stinking up the entire house, Alex training with his arrows, or maybe with Magnus doing who knows what. And Clary. Clary drawing her runes, humming with her perfect little lips, her body swaying back and forth. Or maybe she was with her bloodsucker friend. It didn't matter; he didn't care anymore. She deserved happiness, and she definitely wasn't going to get it from her almost dead, reckless boyfriend. Her bloodsucker friend would be happy enough, and, well, Clary was a strong girl. She would pull through. Not that he mattered much anyways.

_Clary._

The energy sapped from him slowly, and he could feel himself being drained, his mind drifting away slowly. He wheezed slightly, and fisted his hands in to fists, the wind blowing leaves in to his face. He passed time by predicting what each one of his family members and close friends would do. Isabelle would beat his dead body senseless. Alex would stare quietly, a guilty expression sketched on his face, as Jace knew his brother to know that he would not cry. He had not cried at Max's funeral, just stared down with the same, sad expression and whispered Max's name over and over. Magnus would be there, an arm around him to comfort him. It would probably be the only time Magnus wasn't all sparkly. Clary's bloodsucker friend would be-Jace wouldn't know. He barely knew the gaming nerd to begin with, and it hurt to think too hard. And lastly, there was Clary. And he knew her too well to know that she would be crying; she would be leaning over him weeping her eyes until they were dry, and afterwards, blame herself. And Jace would not have that. If there was anything he wished in the world, it was for Clary's happiness.

Too exhausted to leave a note, he silently sent her a message mentally, hoping it would somehow reach her. It was the best thing he could do in his current state.

_Clary. Sweet Clary._

_I love you. I always have, and I always will. I'm sorry that you got this useless piece of crap loving you and following you around and putting you in danger. But I want you to know, that wherever I may go, I will always love you and I will never forget you, my short-tempered redheaded midget. Everything's okay now; I took care of Tyler like I promised I would, but unfortunately, he got me first. He's dead now though, so you won't have to worry._

_Your drawings, they light up my day. They're so beautiful, no matter what I always say about them. Am I shocking you now? Where did my huge, delicate ego go? Well, sometimes I can be a cheesy prince as well, you just never asked. You should know, Clary, that I would do anything for you if you asked._

_You're becoming a better fighter as well, Clary. Just follow Alex's and Isabelle's instructions, and maybe one day, you'll even come close to being as good as me. I know you can do it. You're strong, Clary, one of the strongest people I know. And I have faith in you. _

_And your smile. God, your smile could light up the world, and it's my reward after a long day of training when you smile at me like that. And I-_

Jace stopped abruptly. Clary's smile; what did it look like? _Oh god, no. Please tell me I'm not forgetting it already. Without it, I'm an empty shell. Without it, I'm living in a world with no light. _Yet, whenever he tried picturing it, all he got was a mesh of orange and green. That would not do. He could not have that happen. Then, he came to a conclusion, and he would complete the task even if it was the last thing he would ever do.

He had to see Clary's smile one more time.

Slowly, he extended a hand forward and started to crawl.

**A/N: I do love reviews.**


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